Saturday, November 13, 2004

My Child Will Never Eat Sugar and Other Heaps of B.S.

For the past three weekends, Citlalli and I have been doing birthday parties. First Amelia's, then Citlalli's, and today was Daniel's. All three kids turned 2 and all three parties were packed with abnormally high amounts of sugar.

In the course of these three parties, interspersed with Halloween, some of my stringent childrearing beliefs have been put to the test.

I've never given Citlalli lots of sugary treats like candy, etc. The occasional cookie, maybe a bite of cake, but never any full on straight to your bloodstream candies or sodas. Now before you go gagging yourself as you imagine me in a paisley skirt and birks (not!) grinding bran and rolling it with carob and dates, let me qualify. First of all, Citalli's dad is diabetic (in classic Chicano/Native American fashion). And me, well I'm sugar sensitive and susceptible to candida. So we don't keep a lot of sweets around the house (or at least not that I know of) and use healthy alternatives to sugar like stevia (chemical sweeteners are frowned upon in the Marmolejo home especially after learning what funky diseases they're linked to).

But at Amelia's party, mom Carol made some lovely cupcakes for the little ones and Citlalli devoured hers in no time flat. The next day was Halloween and for a kid who'd never eaten candy, she became a candy snob pronto. Grabbing her little jack o'lantern plastic bucket and saying "Trick or treat", how could you not give the little doll some jujyfruits?

By the day after Halloween, I had to hide any remaining candy from the now fiendish toddler. I poured her trick or treat loot into a shopping bag and gave it to my sister. "Take this to work... PLEASE!".

The following week we had Citlalli's 2nd birthday party and she started the day off with a cupcake I baked in an ice cream cone. (Thanks for the idea, mom, but the dang things tipped over in the muffin tin and poured cake batter all over my oven). Keeping on a cupcake monodiet, she proceeded to have another one before the party started and at least one more at the party. The echoing cries of "My child will never eat sugar" trailed off like La Llorona's wailing howl.

Today was the sugar topper of all. Daniel's mom Queta had goodie bags packed with Elmo candies and then we ate chocolate Elmo cake and drank juice box after juice box after juice box. The kids were peaking from sugar and giving the playground a thorough workout. When Queta's nephew came out dressed in this rather frightful Elmo suit, the tweaked out kiddies screamed and wanted their mamacitas.

Similarly, I once told my sister that my child will never eat a McDonald's french fry. That one flew out the window long ago. I guess it's only normal that the sugar ban soon followed suit.

Moral of the story: Always remember Rule #62.
(Rule 62: Don't take yourself so damn seriously!)

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