Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Another Great Time at Univision

Despite a massive cold that hit me only 2 days before, I made it to my early morning appearance on Primera Edicion and it was a blast!

The topic had to do with the pros and cons of being a working mom. As a working mom, I know firsthand how challenging it can be, but I came with a message of hope.

"There is no single solution for everyone, but the perfect solution is out there for you."

From my perspective, I've seen working moms wracked with guilt for not being home, but I've also met stay at home moms wracked with guilt for not being in the workforce. I joked with Antonio, the anchor on the show, that as moms (and Latinas) we're always going to feel guilty about something so just accept that and move on!

Long story short, here are my suggestions that I shared with the viewers:

1- You need to consider your child's well being and make sure she gets the best care possible. Is that from you or is that from a babysitter or is that with a licensed provider? Your instincts will tell you loud and clear when you find the right situation. Don't just settle. The intense development within the first 5 years needs to be nurtured and stimulated.

2- You need to consider YOUR needs. Yes, you! Put other people's expectations aside and take inventory of what you need to feel healthy in all aspects: body, mind, and spirit. If you aren't cut out to be a 24/7 mom, don't berate yourself. Maybe there is a part time situation that will work for you. You need to be honest with yourself and work towards the ideal situation.

3- What is best for your family? Can you financially afford the decision you've made? Life is expensive and unless you have a breadwinning partner in your life, staying at home is not an option for everyone. Talk to people, ask questions. See what other people have done in their situations.

Personal aside: There's nothing more damaging and divisive for us as women than getting judgmental and uppity regarding a woman's childrearing decisions. Just because something works well for you doesn't mean it will work the same way for others. So if your kids were fine in daycare, don't insist that everyone has to have their kids in daycare. Likewise, just because you can afford to be a stay at home mom doesn't mean that everyone is cut out for it. LIVE AND LET LIVE, OK?

ComadreCoaching.com

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